Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I cannot find my penis.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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