3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
