There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Duck Duck Cougar?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
