I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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