WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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