Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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