we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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