I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
