After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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