Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Michael Bay diarrhea
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
