I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
