Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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