Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
