Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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