When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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