I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
