just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
