I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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