The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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