shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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