I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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