East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize