Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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