I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
