Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
