I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
high people should be assigned attendants
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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