I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
