The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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