she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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