I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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