is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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