I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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