I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
