Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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