you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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