??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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