my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
