Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
