he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
