It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You pole danced in your parka.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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