Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
