like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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