hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
