think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
