good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I need to wash the frat house off of me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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