he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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