there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
the liver wants what the liver wants
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
