So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize