her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
