My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
