just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
