I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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