after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
