she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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