He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
