Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
