I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
