it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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