Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You work out of a Hotel?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
