he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It's just like the Real World with babies
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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