my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
