wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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