apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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