My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
