Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
