The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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