To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize