Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
