well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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