shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
