you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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